Tea

Hello all you 'intelligent' people ;)

Just a quick one here on the subject of tea. I'm sure you've all had a lovely cup of tea at some point but if someone asked you what your favourite is, what would you say? You'd probably say something like:

"That would be Barry's Tea - sure isn't it 'Ireland's favourite' tea, next question. "

WRONG ANSWER!!

LESSON #5: Tea
(difficulty level: 4/5)

I surveyed some truly intelligent people and here are some of their answers:

"herbal tea - no sugar"
"green tea, without sugar"
"black tea... with lemon... in a china cup... on a saucer"
"Cranberry and crushed vanilla, sprinkled with truffle shavings - it's really a fantastic blend"
"I can't leave the house until I have a cup of tea, which I make myself from pink rose petals, wheatgrass and a hint of loganberry juice - I swear by it."

Making your own blend is closely related to sorcery, which is the 'in-thing' with intelligent people these days.

INTELLIGENT FACT #5: If all intelligent people stopped drinking tea tomorrow an estimated 5 billion people would lose their jobs (including Stephen Fry and a small number of chimpanzees). It is estimated that intelligent people would most likely drink coffee instead.


So try some new tea blends to impress your friends, it'll work wonders!!

(However, if this is too big a step just drink black coffee and tell people it's 'fairtrade', this will have a similar effect.)

Best of luck, Mr. Smrt :)

Glasses

Many people wear glasses and most of them are in fact intelligent. Some unintelligent people can actually look smart when they wear glasses, and I will give you some examples but first an interesting FACT!!

Do you recall FACT #1?? Well here it is in case you forgot...

"INTELLIGENT FACT #1: Less than 50% of truly smart people can tell the difference between an actual intelligent person and a person that possesses the 'Air of Intelligence'."

While this was true it is interesting to note what happens when glasses are involved...

INTELLIGENT FACT #4: Less than 10% of truly smart people can tell the difference between an actual intelligent person and a person that possesses the 'Air of Intelligence' when the person is wearing glasses.

You're probably thinking -wow, interesting fact- ... You mean I was fooling 50% of people... 10% will be child's play!!

But be warned...

LESSON #4: Glasses
(difficulty level: 1/5)

This is not as easy as simply putting on a pair of glasses. Here are two examples of getting it wrong.

CASE STUDY #1:
This is Sarah:

As you can see Sarah looks like she may be intelligent or at least has the 'Air of Intelligence'.

Sarah may look like she could be a librarian, a schoolmaster or even a solicitor.

WRONG!

Sarah doesn't even read newspapers, she just pretends to.

Sarah's mistake was not reading this blog and not following the rules to develop 'The Air'!! Please people, follow the rules at all times.

CASE STUDY #2:

This is Timmy:

Timmy looks like a fun guy, up for a laugh, a bit wacky!
Wacky people are intelligent right?

WRONG!

Intelligent people aren't that fun or wacky, possibly weird, but not wacky.

Timmy's first mistake was to wear novelty glasses with a mallet attached to them.
Please avoid novelty glasses at all times, and while we are on the subject do not wear tools above your waist.


Don't despair, as long as you keep Sarah and Timmy's mistakes in mind you'll be fine.
Try on your friend's glasses when they're not watching and see if it works! You'll be amazed with the results!

Best of luck, Mr Smrt :)