Books

Most of you probably prefer not to read books, and that's ok. However, intelligent people tend to like reading books so you are going to have to blag your way through this one I'm afraid, but it may be easier than you think ;)

I know what you're thinking... The last book I read was about some weirdo trying to get people to eat green eggs and ham, how is this ever gonna work!

LESSON #4: Books
(difficulty level: 3/5)

Luckily for us many books are turned into films by people who are too lazy to think of films for themselves, for people who are too lazy to read the book in the first place.

Chances are you have seen some of these films before and can pretend that you have also read the book. If you are asked which you prefer just say you preferred the book as this is the usual response from an intelligent person plus it makes you look like you enjoy reading.

Films based on books:

• The Shawshank Redemption
  
• The Da Vinci Code
• The Godfather
• Forrest Gump
• Little Women
• Kramer Vs Kramer
  
• A Clockwork Orange
  
• The Exorcist
• Hunt for Red October
  
• Gorillas in the Mist
• Jaws
  
• Die Hard (from the book Nothing Lasts Forever)
• How Stella Got Her Groove Back
  

If one of these is your favourite film why not also make it your favourite book! ;)

If you know of any other films based on books why not leave a comment below.

Best of luck, Mr Smrt :)

Contacting Mr Smrt

Hello all you 'intelligent' people ;)

You can now send stories, pictures or questions on your progress to the following address:

airofintelligence@gmail.com


Best of luck, Mr Smrt :)

Eating Out

An avid follower of 'Air-of-Intelligence' left a comment today about Eating Out. Let's see what he says...

"Dear Mr. Smrt,

I always feel like an idiot when I sit down to eat at a fancy restaurant. How can I convey an 'air of intelligence' when I eat out?"

Thank you for your question friend - this is simply done by expressing your knowledge of food!
But you're probably thinking -I know nothing about food, my favourite snack is ketchup sandwiches-... how will this impress people?


LESSON #3: Eating Out
(difficulty level: 3/5)

First you need to be familiar with the 5 main food groups:

1. Food from animals (steak, chicken, eggs, milk, cheese )
   
2. Food from the ground (vegetables, barleys, sugar)
3. Food from trees (nuts, berries and fruit)
4. Frozen foods (ice cream, frozen yoghurt, coca cola ice cubes)
5. Desserts and Sweets (knickerbocker glory, banana split, jelly beans)

WARNING: Be aware of the food groups in case you're asked which is your favourite but never list them in a row, ever - you will not appear intelligent.

INTELLIGENT FACT #3: Intelligent people love to talk about different foods they have tried. The most intelligent person is usually the one that has eaten the most disgusting food.

Impress the people you are eating with by telling them some of the foods you have eaten. You don't even have to have tried the food before, the trick here is to simply tell them it tastes like chicken and they will believe you. The weirder the food the better.

Weird food that will impress intelligent people:

• Baby animals - lamb, veal (baby cows), bambi.
• Snails
• Frogs legs
• Kangaroos legs
• Ostrich legs
  
• Crocodile
  
• Animal innards - liver, kidney, brains.
  

Crossing the line (never say you've eaten the following, for some reason this is considered too far)

• Rat
• Dog/Cats
  
• Monkey
• Pets in general

I hope this helps you the next time you are in a fancy restaurant reader.
Best of Luck, Mr. Smrt :)

Greetings - simplified

For those of you who have mastered 'hello' but are still having trouble making the leap to 'Good morning', 'Good afternoon' or 'Good evening'...

may I suggest keeping it simple and saying 'Good day' instead.

This can be used in the morning, afternoon or the evening and is particularly helpful when you've eaten an extra meal and are confused as to what time of the day it is.


Best of luck, Mr Smrt :)